Just as you taught yourself not to set your hand on the stoves hot burner, because of the pain you do not wish to re-experience, you teach yourself how to learn from each experience through your emotions. Each experience causes you to feel an emotion, you choose which emotion to focus on or pick from that experience. The experience is meant to teach you something.
Most chosen emotions from an experience are conditioned beliefs or one which we have been taught to believe and have accepted it as how we're supposed to feel when something like that happens to us.
Look at how the military re-programs the minds of soilders. People are not born with this innate programmed response to react in a certain way when a certain condition presents itself. This is a conditioned behavior, it's meant to remove emotion and allow a person to respond in a certain way to protect and survive. It removes the emotion of the fight or flight and empowers them with an automatic action, one which has been programmed or conditioned, it now becomes "automatic". It no longer comes from an emotional thinking process but a conditioned reaction. This is highly beneficial in high stress "life or limb" situations. It creates, for lack of a better word, a zombie like reaction which enables survival.
We can use this kind of "programming to our advantage. Reprogram yourself, retrain your brain to reflect the kind of world you want to experience. Remember, this world is a playground, one which is meant to be joyful, but the filters we use to see it through are the same filters we can change by re-training our brain.
If we have been taught to judge others we will see that same judgement in our lives because we have given it our attention and attention is an invitation to experience more of that feeling. What we put out by this emotions is what we will get back and experience in our lives.
If you continue to think the way you've always thought, you'll continue to get what you've always gotten.
Think of an experience where you felt angry, unhappy or frustrated: unloved. It doesn't matter how the experience came just write down the emotions you felt on the left side of a piece of paper. On the right, write the opposite or antonym for that emotion. Rip the paper down the middle, between the left and right columns and throw the left side away.
Use the right side words to re-program your thinking. Use them in affirmations, stick them on your mirror and repeat them each day, whatever comes to mind. The proof that the words written on the left side of the paper are not the truth of who you are is because of the way the experience made you feel: SHITTY. That's your guidance, your higher self: God, telling you what you are focusing on is not truth.
Get used to hearing and following this guidance, it will always take you down the right track.
We thank you for spending your time here.
We honor your soul, namaste.