Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions, but forgiveness does allow you to reclaim your sovereignty by letting the offender off the hook for your happiness.
Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice. By refusing to transfer the right to exact punishment or revenge, we are telling God/Universe we trust the divine process and things will be "taken care of" in perfect order.
Forgiveness does not mean we have to revert to being the victim. Forgiving is not saying, "What you did was okay so go ahead and walk all over me." Nor is it playing the martyr, enjoying the performance of forgiving people because it perpetuates our victim role. Instead, it releases the victim role as you release the ties which bind you to it.
Forgiveness is not the same as reconciling. We can forgive someone even if we never can get along with them. We can forgive in our heart without seeing the offender again. It is never their business if you forgive them, it's yours.
Forgiveness may be a process, not an event. It might take some time to work through our emotional problems before we can truly forgive. Ask for help from your angels, guides and ascended masters.
Forgetting does not mean denying reality or ignoring repeated offenses. Some people are obnoxious, mean-spirited, apathetic or unreliable. They may never change, but that's not your business. Change the way you respond to them and quit expecting them to be different. Love them unconditionally knowing it's okay to move away from them. Do nothing out of obligation.
Forgiveness is not based on others' actions but on your attitude. People will continue to hurt us through life. We either look outward at them of staying stuck and angry or we begin to keep our minds on our loving relationship with ourselves and our reflections of the God within, choosing to focus on what is good, righteous and beautiful.
Forgiveness is not about the offender repenting. Even if they never ask for forgiveness, it's not your business. They are creating their own relationship/experiences in their lives; good or bad and the Universe will respond in like experiences and energy. It is your business to tend to your own relationships/experiences and likewise, the focus you create will bring to you that experience.
Forgiveness can be declared in the heart. Be honest with yourself. Self-righteous forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a manipulation to make them feel guilty thus taking one wrong and using it to create another. This is pride, another victim mentality.
Forgiveness does not mean to forget. It's normal for memories to be triggered in the future. when thoughts of past hurts occur, it's what we do with them that punts. When we find ourselves focusing on a past offense, we can learn to say, "Thank you for this reminder of how important forgiveness is to me and my soul. We may even eventually be able to thank the offender for creating an experience where we learned a valuable lesson. Remember, words don't teach: experience teaches. Many times an unwanted experience can be the catalyst to get you to move. Just like leaning against a stove can get you to move when you feel the ever growing heat.
Forgiveness starts with a soul based decision to care about how you want to feel. The emotional part of forgiveness is being able to let go of the resentment.
Ultimately, forgiveness is letting the offender off the hook for your happiness. You are then reclaiming your power/sovereignty to be happy and no longer allowing the offender to hold you down from experiencing peace and happiness.
Stop for a moment and feel within yourself. Is there a situation which still triggers anger from you? No matter how much time is past, if this situation can still make you angry you have what we call a spiritual cord still tied to you. If the trigger is still there you are tied to them. Go within. Ask yourself these questions;
Will I allow them to control my happiness?
Do I give them permissions to be tied to me?
Do I give them the power over my health? (Anger is a frequency which resides in the gallbladder or liver and creates congestion and dis-eases) (Ask any energy healer)
Do I give them permission to pull me out of happiness?
Do I give them permission to control me?
Do I give them my free will to choose my life?
If your answer to any of the above questions is NO, start your process of forgiveness. As you heal, you add to the greater good. You deserve to re-gain your sovereignty.
Then forgive yourself for being offended and allowing the cord to exist at all.
We send you love in your journey of healing,